Big Five Value Proposition Explained
People often ask about the "value proposition" which a Big Five consulting firm brings to a client's project. Well, let's examine a regular engagement where we have a Big Five team implementing an ERP package called Orasap, all of it involving new technology. Let's take a look at a TYPICAL team member from each job level. This is what they might be doing and thinking.
Randy Johnson
Consultant ($200/hour):
Takes minutes of meetings, gathers time and expense reports from team and prepares monthly invoice, listens and learns.
("Hey, I just love the hotel. I can drink all I want for free, this is great. I really lucked out with my first job. But, why does my head hurt so much every morning?")
Jenny Lee
Senior Consultant ($250/hour):
Reads Orasap manuals and practices on the client's demo system. Downloads deliverables from other projects, does a search and replace on client name, presents to client team. Listens as the client staff explain their business and helps them draw diagrams about it.
("I wish I knew more about this Orasap package. Good thing the client doesn't know anything about it. It's such a struggle to stay one step ahead. I should update my résumé now, in case I don't make Manager this summer. I hear the market's really hot for people with Orasap experience.")
Kevin Flint
Manager ($300/hour):
Downloads project plan from another project. Does a search and replace on client name. If he's good, remembers to update the plan with dates and resource names applicable to THIS project. At every opportunity with the client, goes to whiteboard with marker pen and explains something about Orasap, which he's making-up as he goes along, but it's okay, the client is completely clueless. Looks for every opportunity to back stab his colleagues to get that big promotion. Spends most of the day busily occupied at the workstation which the client has provided. No-one else can see his screen.
("I must be really smart. I know so much about Orasap, and I've never even logged into the application. If I don't make Senior Manager here this summer, I can just go to that other Big Five firm. With my experience of managing Orasap projects, they'll snap me up and I'll get a big pay raise.")
Jim Reid
Senior Manager ($400/hour):
Has no experience of Orasap, coming from an IBM mainframe background. Assumes no-one in the Firm knows anything about it, either. Helped to sell this engagement, and not really sure what he sold. He wants to make Partner, his wife wants a divorce, his waist size has gone up 6 inches since he started consulting and he doesn't get any exercise. He's going to do whatever it takes to make Partner, as long as it doesn't involve having to actually learn anything about Orasap. That would be beneath his dignity.
("I just hope that I can hold this thing together and get it to 'go-live' without anyone realizing that I don't know anything about Orasap. I'll take Becky to the Orasap user conference in
Glen Wellman
Partner ($500/hour):
Doesn't know anything about ERP packages, let alone Orasap. Is on his third wife and his waist size has gone up 12 inches since he started consulting. Does not get involved in the project deliverables, since he does not know what a deliverable is anyway. Mostly plays golf with his old friends who are CEO's and CIO's. They occasionally offer each other jobs as VP's or direct-entry Partners. Helps the CEO's and CIO's figure out imaginative ways to spend the stockholders' money.
("I must tell the team to bill more hours. I want utilization to go up, up, up. That Senior Manager is such an ass-hole. I won't ever let him make Partner. What's for lunch?")
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
Subcontractor ($classified):
Not considered suitable to be employed directly by the Firm, since he occasionally wears white socks. Knows everything technically and functionally about Orasap. Learns very quickly and gets deeply into the package. Establishes the business requirements, maps to Orasap functionality, identifies the gaps, designs the solutions, configures the system, builds the interfaces to legacy systems, codes the customizations, performs the data conversion, writes the documentation, performs system testing, trains the end-users and is on 24 hour call for post 'go-live' support.
("I am so blessed to be working with such fine people. Nobody back home will believe that I have an apartment with a separate bedroom, a brand new Corolla and TWO televisions. I love this country. I hope that my green card comes before my work visa expires.")
Random Thoughts During the Day
Jenny Lee
I've been up half the night studying how interfaces work....I hope I've learned enough to lead that workshop today....I didn't have time to do my makeup properly this morning....I must look such a mess.
Randy Johnson
Groan....my head hurts....that was a great session last night....gotta do the monthly invoice today....my head hurts....hope I get it right....there's Jenny....Man, she's so HOT.
Jim Reid
Becky was really angry on the phone last night....why doesn't she understand?...I'm doing this for us....at least I spend all day Saturday at home....usually....I'd better book the
Kevin Flint
(Sitting at PC)
So, for an extra $2,200, I get a V6, and the performance is so much better....I would look really hot in one of those....talking of hot...here comes Jenny....just act cool....she wants me so bad....
Jenny Lee
There's that Kevin Flint surfing the Net already....I wish I didn't have to report to him....the guy is such a jerk....I've got to concentrate....I've got four hours until the Interface workshop AND I've got to discuss data conversion with Raj....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
Best is to use FTP protocol for the interfaces and run nightly back-up....end-users should not be worrying about this....should be part of system administration procedure....I will read letter from parents later....must write this specification first....
Jenny Lee
Come to think of it, why shouldn't I go to the Orasap conference?...I would learn so much....shouldn't be afraid to ask just because it's in
Kevin Flint
Man....I'd look even more cool in a convertible....I'll search on dealer stock....what specs do I want?....
Jim Reid
I need to chase Randy for the monthly invoice....the bigger the number, the sooner I make Partner....an e-mail from Jenny....Training Request....she wants to go to the Orasap conference....well she deserves it....she's been working very hard....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
The data format should be 10 characters alphanumeric on the Reference field....maybe 10 is not enough....perhaps 15 to be sure....
Randy Johnson
Man....it's hard work adding up these numbers....my head hurts....
Jim Reid
Would Becky REALLY enjoy the Orasap conference?....I mean, it's all work....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
According to letter, I must return to India during Xmas vacations in order for marriage....this will be most joyful occasion....I wonder what she looks like?....I will write back to my parents confirming my trip....after I get my permission for time off....
Jim Reid
Since I'm running this thing, I must remember to ask Kevin how it's going....
Kevin Flint
So, looks like I can get a good finance deal for the V6, 3.8 convertible and have it in two weeks....
Jim Reid
E-mail from the Indian fella....Leave of Absence Request....he wants two weeks off at year-end....no way....this is a serious project we're running, not a walk in the park....he can take a couple of days either side of Christmas....as long as he has his pager....
Randy Johnson
Whoa....that's a big number....average of 64.5 hours per week AND we've hit a new record high on expenses....way to go....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
I am not understanding....since my design is so good and will save so much effort and make much more efficiency....why are end-users so much resisting....
Kevin Flint
Since I'm running this thing, I must remember to ask Jenny how it's going....
Jenny Lee
I must go and discuss data conversion with Raj....he's so honest and charming in his own way....makes a change from these jerks....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
E-mail from Mister Jim....I can take two days before and two days after Xmas....five days in total....so that is one day for travel to India, three days for wedding ceremonies and one day for return to US....honeymooning can be here in Omaha....that fits ok....
Kevin Flint
Where shall I fly this weekend, since I don't have to go home and the client pays....let's see....Las Vegas looks good....if I win a lotta money I won't have to work anymore....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
Oh....but I am not sure if pager will work in
Kevin Flint
E-mail from Jenny....Schedule Update....she'll be out the week of October 25....because she'll be attending the Orasap conference....hey....that's in Honolulu....she can't do that....she's only a Senior Consultant and I'm a damn Manager....well if she's going....I'm going....
Jim Reid
Hey....just a doggoned minute....the Indian fella doesn't even believe in Christmas....it doesn't make sense for him to take time off then, when all the normal folk are away....he should take his vacation another time....after 'go-live'....as long as he has his pager....
Glen Wellman
(In own office, at local Big 5 HQ)
The monthly numbers are coming in....damn, we're hot....I always say that hard work and professionalism bring their own rewards....and our quality methodology....Structured Consulting & Reengineering Enablement Workflow Engagement Methodology....that sets us head and shoulders above the other Big Four, ....time for a long lunch....which client should I charge it to?....
Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla
Here comes Miss Jenny to discuss data conversion....she is so nice lady....I must control my mind....I must NOT think impure thoughts....om-mani-pad-me-oom....om-mani-pad-me-oom....om-mani-pad-me-oom....
Some more characters....
BIG Five-Part II
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
Senior Consultant - Paris
A Partner in the
("Zat flight was inhuman. Zee wine was so bad - every single bottle. Zey expect me to fly for eight hours without a Gauloise? I don't know why zee lavatory smoke detector went off like zat - I covered it with plenty of paper towels. Why did zat American immigration officer keep asking me if I am working? I told him zat I am on business. I have 90 days of business meetings zat involve absolutely no work whatsoever. I don't need a work visa - I am French, not Indian.")
Bruce Slick
CIO - AmeriStuff Manufacturing
Was at business school with Glen Wellman twenty years ago. Has been at AmeriStuff for five months, after things did not work out at his dot.com start-up company. Was responsible for conceiving this ERP project and bringing this consulting firm in to run it.
("Oh God....Phase 1 Americas....Phase 2 Europe....Phase 3 Asia Pacific....this feels like it's gonna take forever....Glen says that they can't offer me a position until the project's done....it would jeopardize the Audit relationship....okay, so we'll finish the project....I will take the credit for a job well done....I'll cash my options....then I'm outta here....I'll be a Direct Entry Partner and I'll be on the golf course.")
Susan Lovely
Big 5 HR Director
Age: Unknown.
Marital Status: Unknown.
Parental Status: Unknown.
Affectional Orientation: Unknown.
Physical Appearance: Absolutely gorgeous.
Any Activity Planned For Tonight: Unknown, and don't even think of asking.
This is one person that no-one in the Firm can date, although many want to. As HR Director, her main focus areas are harassment, harassment and harassment. Recently commissioned a harassment awareness video which depicted a male Senior Consultant in his hotel room being pressured by an older, attractive female Senior Manager to have dinner with her, either in a restaurant or through room service. This has not been well received by males in the Firm, who fear that it will discourage attractive females from attempting to seduce them.
("It's a big responsibility making everyone feel warm, secure and friendly. I really enjoy visiting each city with my video, making the entire local office staff watch it as a mandatory requirement, leading a touchy-feely discussion about it, and then making them all hug each other. Everyone has to hug except me - I'm from out of town. I love doing this. I love the Frequent Flyer miles. I really lucked out in my twelfth job.")
Brad Christiansen
Client Project Manager (formerly Plant IT Manager)
Has worked at AmeriStuff Manufacturing for 25 years, beginning on the shop floor and working his way up to Plant IT Manager. He was nominated to be the project manager on the AmeriStuff side for this Orasap project, working closely with the consulting team, because he really understands the business and processes. Married for 20 years, he has four children and lives near the plant. He's had his car for 14 years and he's thinking about changing it, but there's no hurry - it's running great.
("I know it was a privilege to be made project manager of this prestigious project, but sometimes I wonder....the CIO said, "Don't worry, the consultants are there to help you"....I just don't get it....they never answer a question directly....except the Indian fella....they always have these closed door meetings in the conference room....when the Partner comes they always go for a long lunch....they don't make me feel like I belong to the team....except the Indian fella....
Random Thoughts During the Day
....the Monday after the Orasap conference....
Jenny Lee
(In rental car, driving from hotel to AmeriStuff office)
I'm glad that Kevin finally listened to me about needing to plan for Phase 2 and getting someone here who understands Orasap functionality and how it addresses European statutory reporting requirements, especially regarding France, our biggest European challenge....I can't believe Jean-Pierre arrived the very next afternoon....just in time for me to brief him before we left for the Orasap conference....I'm sure that he must have made good progress with the client project team last week....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
(In rental car, driving from hotel to AmeriStuff office)
I hate zis country....zee food is so bad....
Susan Lovely
(In own office)
HR is the place to be. No-one can fire HR. We can't conduct exit interviews on ourselves. We can't escort ourselves off the premises. HR is invincible.
Kevin Flint
(In rental car, driving from hotel to AmeriStuff office)
I'm glad that Jim listened to me about needing a French functional IT consultant....he reacted pretty fast....Jean-Pierre got here the next day....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
Zee coffee is so bad....
Susan Lovely
That new Orasap HR system that's being implemented across the Firm is going to make HR even more powerful. It will give us complete control over all the personnel. The Firm is about people....we control the people....we control the Firm....
Jim Reid
(In rental car, driving from hotel to AmeriStuff office)
Glen must have been very impressed when I explained the need for a French consultant and how it would really help the project succeed....he reacted so quickly....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
Zee wine is so bad....
Susan Lovely
I disapprove of Firm employees dating other staff from the Firm or staff from the clients. They should only date people that they meet in their spare time.....
Glen Wellman
(In own office)
I'm glad I was able to get Bernard Escargot's home number from the global Partner directory....why was he so pissed?....it was only just 6 PM when I called him...I was still in the office....anyway I'm glad he was so responsive when I explained the need for a Frenchman on the project....got the fella here the next afternoon....he seems well qualified too...I checked his résumé....he's definitely French....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
(formerly known as Rajagopolan Ramakandramdhobiwalla)
I cannot understand why they are making me shorten my name for new HR system....I am sure that field 'HR_employee_lastname' in table 'HR_employees' is user configurable up to 99 characters during set-up process....default only is 15 characters....but I am not expert in Orasap HR module....internal Firm Orasap HR implementation project team must know what they are doing....not for me to question when I am not expert....
Randy Johnson
(In rental car, driving from hotel to AmeriStuff office)
It was great here last week....everyone away at the Orasap conference....just me, Raj, JP from Paris, and the other sub-contractors....I was in charge....I was managing the team....that's gonna look great on my résumé....boy....did my head hurt....every single morning....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
But....zee American women are beautiful....so many beautiful women....so little time....perhaps I should focus on just zee married ones....zey are much quicker to seduce....although zee unmarried ones are also fast....it's strange....as soon as I start speaking, zey seem to swoon....it doesn't matter what I say....
Jim Reid
I can't understand why Becky was so angry yesterday....the Orasap conference was work....that's why I couldn't take her....it wasn't for fun....it began on Sunday evening, so I had to fly to Honolulu on Saturday....I couldn't miss the opening session....not a person of my significance in the Orasap world....I've had people work for me who've submitted papers to the Orasap conferences....the conference ran until Thursday....then we had our internal Firm Orasap Practice meeting all day on Friday, since we were all there in Honolulu in the same place at the same time....that made sense....then there was dinner on Friday....I couldn't miss that if I'm going to make Partner....I have to be well-known, liked and respected....flights out of Honolulu are at night, so I had to stay through Saturday....not my fault....I got home on Sunday morning....and then I had to leave on Sunday evening to be back here for our Monday morning project review meeting....it's not like I had any choice in any of this and it was all work....
Randy Johnson
It was great going out with Raj and JP every single night....boy....JP can really drink me under the table....and he's got a real eye for the ladies....I never met a Texan before....I wonder if they're all like him....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
Database applications table space should be increased by a factor of.... a factor of....(blank)....soon I will be married....
Brad Christiansen
Phase Two in Europe....this rumor about me being the project manager for that too....I don't know about that....I might not get home from Europe every day in time to put the kids to bed....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
Why does everyone keep asking me about 'Le Plan Comptable' reporting?....what zee hell is zat....?
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
Report run time parameters should be....should be.... (blank)....soon I will have wife....
Brad Christiansen
I might become a Frequent Flyer....imagine that....me a Frequent Flyer!....I would get to queue in the other line.....
Jean-Pierre L'Amant
How should I know about corporate tax requirements....I don't even do my own tax return....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
Back-up routine will be defined....defined....(blank)....soon I will have sex....
Jim Reid
There's Jenny....oh God...she's so beautiful....I must have looked so ridiculous to her in my swim trunks....
Glen Wellman
(In own office)
Although they were at the Orasap conference, the team were still working on AmeriStuff project-related work most of the time....virtually all of the time....and should remember to record their hours appropriately....
Jenny Lee
There's Jim....I still can't believe it....in Honolulu he was in the gym every day....and I only saw him eat salad....I wonder what's up....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
I don't feel well....
Brad Christiansen
We should invite the Indian fella to lunch on Sunday....he's all by himself over here....he doesn't get to fly anywhere on Fridays....we have to try and bring him out of the Darkness, into the Light....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
Every night last week Randy and Jean-Pierre were explaining how good they are with women in bed....what if I'm no good.....
Glen Wellman
(In own office, using calculator)
Let's see....I was able to haggle the Frenchie for fifteen hundred bucks a DAY....payable in French dollars....he's a Senior Consultant....we'll bill him as a Manager....for 300 bucks an HOUR....and make sure he does at least ten hours a day....hey....it's minting money....it shouldn't be allowed....if I carry on like this, I could run the whole place with foreign subcontractors and carry no overheads....send 'em home when there's no work....never have to worry about career development and all that HR crap....
Brad Christiansen
Why do I have to keep explaining to Bruce Slick about the costs going up?....like it's my fault....the consultants call it "Scope Creep"....they say it's our fault....that we keep asking for more stuff....I don't understand....I thought the consultants clearly defined the requirements in the scoping phase....they never push back on the users when they ask for the same old reports and stuff....I thought Orasap was going to fundamentally change the way we work....whose supposed to push back?....
Glen Wellman
That Jim Reid....he's such an ass-hole....we'd better have a talk about his future...AFTER he's finished Phase 3 Asia Pacific....
Kevin Flint
Oh no....here comes Jenny....I can't believe what I said to her in Honolulu....in the hotel bar....I told her how attractive she is....I shouldn't have mentioned that we need to do her engagement review....in the same conversation....she might have got the wrong idea....
Bruce Slick
At least they've started planning Phase 2....and they've made a head start on the European requirements with that Jean Paul fella....nice of him to offer to help Barbara with her French lessons....
Jenny Lee
There's that Kevin Flint. He fell right into it....I'm sure I can get him to be generous with my engagement review, and I won't even have to....yuk....the thought of it....
Rajagopolan Ramakandram
Here comes Miss Jenny....tan from Hawaii looks good on her....makes her look less unhealthy pale...she always smiles at me....she always leaves her hair uncovered....it smells like finest Indian herbs....her skirt is always so short that I can see her ankles....I saw HR video....I think I'm being harassed....
